Lymph node (LN) assessment is a critical, indispensable yet very challenging task in the routine clinical workflow of radiology and oncology. Accurate LN analysis is essential for cancer diagnosis, staging, and treatment planning. Finding scatteredly distributed, low-contrast clinically relevant LNs in 3D CT is difficult even for experienced physicians under high inter-observer variations. Previous automatic LN detection works typically yield limited recall and high false positives (FPs) due to adjacent anatomies with similar image intensities, shapes, or textures (vessels, muscles, esophagus, etc). In this work, we propose a new LN DEtection TRansformer, named LN-DETR, to achieve more accurate performance. By enhancing the 2D backbone with a multi-scale 2.5D feature fusion to incorporate 3D context explicitly, more importantly, we make two main contributions to improve the representation quality of LN queries. 1) Considering that LN boundaries are often unclear, an IoU prediction head and a location debiased query selection are proposed to select LN queries of higher localization accuracy as the decoder query's initialization. 2) To reduce FPs, query contrastive learning is employed to explicitly reinforce LN queries towards their best-matched ground-truth queries over unmatched query predictions. Trained and tested on 3D CT scans of 1067 patients (with 10,000+ labeled LNs) via combining seven LN datasets from different body parts (neck, chest, and abdomen) and pathologies/cancers, our method significantly improves the performance of previous leading methods by > 4-5% average recall at the same FP rates in both internal and external testing. We further evaluate on the universal lesion detection task using NIH DeepLesion benchmark, and our method achieves the top performance of 88.46% averaged recall across 0.5 to 4 FPs per image, compared with other leading reported results.