Many real-world applications of tabular data involve using historic events to predict properties of new ones, for example whether a credit card transaction is fraudulent or what rating a customer will assign a product on a retail platform. Existing approaches to event prediction include costly, brittle, and application-dependent techniques such as time-aware positional embeddings, learned row and field encodings, and oversampling methods for addressing class imbalance. Moreover, these approaches often assume specific use-cases, for example that we know the labels of all historic events or that we only predict a pre-specified label and not the data's features themselves. In this work, we propose a simple but flexible baseline using standard autoregressive LLM-style transformers with elementary positional embeddings and a causal language modeling objective. Our baseline outperforms existing approaches across popular datasets and can be employed for various use-cases. We demonstrate that the same model can predict labels, impute missing values, or model event sequences.