We present a zero-shot pose optimization method that enforces accurate physical contact constraints when estimating the 3D pose of humans. Our central insight is that since language is often used to describe physical interaction, large pretrained text-based models can act as priors on pose estimation. We can thus leverage this insight to improve pose estimation by converting natural language descriptors, generated by a large multimodal model (LMM), into tractable losses to constrain the 3D pose optimization. Despite its simplicity, our method produces surprisingly compelling pose reconstructions of people in close contact, correctly capturing the semantics of the social and physical interactions. We demonstrate that our method rivals more complex state-of-the-art approaches that require expensive human annotation of contact points and training specialized models. Moreover, unlike previous approaches, our method provides a unified framework for resolving self-contact and person-to-person contact.