Large language models (LLMs) aligned through reinforcement learning from human feedback (RLHF) have quickly become one of the dominant paradigms for building intelligent conversational assistant agents. However, despite their strong performance across many benchmarks, LLM-based agents still lack conversational skills such as disambiguation: when generalized assistants are faced with ambiguity, they often overhedge or implicitly guess users' ground-truth intents rather than asking clarification questions, and under task-specific settings, high-quality conversation samples are often limited, affecting models' ability to learn optimal dialogue action policies. We propose Action-Based Contrastive Self-Training (henceforth ACT), a quasi-online preference optimization algorithm based on Direct Preference Optimization (DPO) which allows for sample-efficient dialogue policy learning in multi-turn conversation. We demonstrate ACT's efficacy under sample-efficient conditions in three difficult conversational tasks: tabular-grounded question-answering, machine reading comprehension, and AmbigSQL, a novel task for disambiguating information-seeking requests for text-to-SQL generation. Additionally, we propose evaluating LLMs' ability to function as conversational agents by examining whether they can implicitly recognize and reason about ambiguity in conversation. ACT demonstrates substantial conversation modeling improvements over standard approaches to supervised fine-tuning and DPO.