In Location-based Social Networks, Point-of-Interest (POI) recommendation helps users discover interesting places. There is a trend to move from the cloud-based model to on-device recommendations for privacy protection and reduced server reliance. Due to the scarcity of local user-item interactions on individual devices, solely relying on local instances is not adequate. Collaborative Learning (CL) emerges to promote model sharing among users, where reference data is an intermediary that allows users to exchange their soft decisions without directly sharing their private data or parameters, ensuring privacy and benefiting from collaboration. However, existing CL-based recommendations typically use a single reference for all users. Reference data valuable for one user might be harmful to another, given diverse user preferences. Users may not offer meaningful soft decisions on items outside their interest scope. Consequently, using the same reference data for all collaborations can impede knowledge exchange and lead to sub-optimal performance. To address this gap, we introduce the Decentralized Collaborative Learning with Adaptive Reference Data (DARD) framework, which crafts adaptive reference data for effective user collaboration. It first generates a desensitized public reference data pool with transformation and probability data generation methods. For each user, the selection of adaptive reference data is executed in parallel by training loss tracking and influence function. Local models are trained with individual private data and collaboratively with the geographical and semantic neighbors. During the collaboration between two users, they exchange soft decisions based on a combined set of their adaptive reference data. Our evaluations across two real-world datasets highlight DARD's superiority in recommendation performance and addressing the scarcity of available reference data.