Class incremental learning (CIL) aims to incrementally update a trained model with the new classes of samples (plasticity) while retaining previously learned ability (stability). To address the most challenging issue in this goal, i.e., catastrophic forgetting, the mainstream paradigm is memory-replay CIL, which consolidates old knowledge by replaying a small number of old classes of samples saved in the memory. Despite effectiveness, the inherent destruction-reconstruction dynamics in memory-replay CIL are an intrinsic limitation: if the old knowledge is severely destructed, it will be quite hard to reconstruct the lossless counterpart. Our theoretical analysis shows that the destruction of old knowledge can be effectively alleviated by balancing the contribution of samples from the current phase and those saved in the memory. Motivated by this theoretical finding, we propose a novel Balanced Destruction-Reconstruction module (BDR) for memory-replay CIL, which can achieve better knowledge reconstruction by reducing the degree of maximal destruction of old knowledge. Specifically, to achieve a better balance between old knowledge and new classes, the proposed BDR module takes into account two factors: the variance in training status across different classes and the quantity imbalance of samples from the current phase and memory. By dynamically manipulating the gradient during training based on these factors, BDR can effectively alleviate knowledge destruction and improve knowledge reconstruction. Extensive experiments on a range of CIL benchmarks have shown that as a lightweight plug-and-play module, BDR can significantly improve the performance of existing state-of-the-art methods with good generalization.