The Helioseismic and Magnetic Imager (HMI) onboard NASA's Solar Dynamics Observatory (SDO) produces estimates of the photospheric magnetic field which are a critical input to many space weather modelling and forecasting systems. The magnetogram products produced by HMI and its analysis pipeline are the result of a per-pixel optimization that estimates solar atmospheric parameters and minimizes disagreement between a synthesized and observed Stokes vector. In this paper, we introduce a deep learning-based approach that can emulate the existing HMI pipeline results two orders of magnitude faster than the current pipeline algorithms. Our system is a U-Net trained on input Stokes vectors and their accompanying optimization-based VFISV inversions. We demonstrate that our system, once trained, can produce high-fidelity estimates of the magnetic field and kinematic and thermodynamic parameters while also producing meaningful confidence intervals. We additionally show that despite penalizing only per-pixel loss terms, our system is able to faithfully reproduce known systematic oscillations in full-disk statistics produced by the pipeline. This emulation system could serve as an initialization for the full Stokes inversion or as an ultra-fast proxy inversion. This work is part of the NASA Heliophysics DRIVE Science Center (SOLSTICE) at the University of Michigan, under grant NASA 80NSSC20K0600E, and has been open sourced.